Don't be a jackass. In life, or the ring.

I want to preface this somewhat rage-y post by saying that overwhelmingly the Dalmatian community has made me feel VERY welcome. At my VERY first baby puppy show with Hazzard, a long-time breeder/competitor, Sharon, helped me stack him so I could get a photo of our first show. She was kind and welcoming and encouraging, and that set the stage for many people to come! Competitors like Sandra, who helped me with my stack, often watching from ringside so she could give me great tips and hints, or Karen and Ross who have been so friendly, right from the start, and have gone out of their way to be complimentary to BOTH Random and Hazzard! Sometimes my magical unicorn dog, Random, gets overlooked in the show world as her mega-spots mean she will never be a competitive conformation dog (plus, you know...spayed). My breeder, Pam, is amazing and has been SO supportive, enthusiastic, and helpful. Through her, I have met wonderful people like Laurie and Becky who have become friends and supporters and encouragers. Both breeders of my dogs' sires have also been incredibly enthusiastic and encouraging... Again and again I have met new people, who have long been in the breed, and they have been so welcoming, so encouraging.

This is not everyone's experience with conformation, or with joining a new breed, which is super sad. Perhaps BECAUSE of how awesome the community has been, someone who breaks that mold particularly stands out. Again, I have no desire to shame an actual person (ok, maybe a small desire, but I would never act on that), so I will keep the details vague...but I think the experience is worth sharing, because it was impactful on me, and would be particularly impactful on an even newer competitor.

So...long story short-ish...MANY years ago I took a conformation class from a friend who is also a professional handler. I didn't have a show dog at the time, but wanted to learn. She REALLY drilled common courtesy and professionalism into me. Some basics for every single time you walk into the ring: be respectful and courteous of your competitors, of the judge, and of the ring steward. Use the space you need, but don't crowd others. If you are at the front of the line, check-in with the person behind you before you start the group go-around to make sure they are ready. ALWAYS congratulate the winner! These really just mirror common courtesy for life. These are the tiny things we can do to make the world a nicer place, hold the door for people, let people merge into traffic, basically don't be a jerk. These are also the basics from when I used to box. Be courteous to your competition, sincerely congratulate them if they win, respect the ref, be polite to other coaches. THESE ARE BASIC LIFE SKILLS.

In a recent-ish show these common courtesies were ignored or rather trampled on. I was showing against a seasoned competitor who is new to the breed. It was just the two of us in the ring. I happened to be at the front of the line so before we started our group go-around I looked back, as I ALWAYS do, and asked "ready?" with a smile. I am so used to showing with people who have ranged from friendly to becoming my friends that it was very jarring to have the response be a literal eye roll with no further acknowledgement. Ummm...what just happened? Anyway, I carried on, of course, and had the pleasure of winning that day. Instead of the "congratulations" that I am used to receiving (and giving!) the other competitor grumped past me out of the ring, speaking to neither me nor the judge. The following day - same thing! LITERALLY ROLLED THEIR EYES instead of saying thanks for checking in, or even just "yes" to acknowledge they were ready for the go-around. This time, the other competitor won (they do, in fact, have quite a nice Dalmatian!) I enthusiastically and genuinely congratulated them - no response. Huh. 

For a variety of reasons, I have zero tolerance for people's poor behaviour these days. So rather than do the perhaps more mature thing and let it go, I followed said competitor out of the ring and said "pardon me, have I done something to upset you that I don't know about? Because I am VERY puzzled by your behaviour in the ring". The other competitor did not break their stride and tossed over their shoulder, I am really busy, I work for a handler. Erm...ok...that's cool, I am not looking to hang out between ring times...so I said "but that shouldn't have any impact on your time in the ring with your dog, and that behaviour is really poor". To which they carried on their way, saying "It isn't about you, it's just me." Um yeah, I know. But thanks. At least we agree on that.

So, here's the deal. I have been extremely fortunate to be trusted with some amazing dogs. Hazzard is my first conformation dog and we have been learning this sport together. He is a gorgeous dog and we have been fortunate to have some serious success together. But I am still essentially new to the sport, and we have new people joining the sport every day. If we want this sport to continue, we need these new people to want to stick around. Don't be a jerk (try not to be a jerk throughout your whole day...but particularly try and hold it together in the ring). Don't be rude. Don't be condescending. Don't make snide comments. Don't be clique-y. Don't exclude new people. Don't crowd people in the ring so your dog looks better. Be proud of your dog and what you achieve, don't let other's achievements take away from yours, and don't try and take away theirs. (not all the above shit happened to me, recently or ever, but these are the things I hear from an alarming number of competitors).

If I hadn't had SO MANY awesome experiences before, this may have really impacted me (rather than just showing me that this one person is a jackass). Much like my previous rant on behaviour around the obedience ring...I think we ALL have a responsibility to be welcoming to people (new or old), and encouraging, and friendly to each other. We don't have to be friends, but we also don't need to be enemies.

OK - THAT IS ENOUGH OF MY WHINING. Stay tuned for a new blog coming later this week that is about some amazingly welcoming, helpful, kind people at a recent event. 

Despite my griping, MOST of the people I meet are lovely. Part of what makes dog sports fun. Be a lovely person. Not a jackass.